Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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