Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
