YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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