I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
