I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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