Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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