Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
