The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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