can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
