Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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