i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
