I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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