Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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