So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
