i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think your dad took our porno
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
