im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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