Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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