Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
