Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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