three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
