thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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