I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
