Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
