i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
well you can't waste a boner
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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