How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Randomize
