Your dad touched me again.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
