Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
