I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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