He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My ass is underappreciated
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
