if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize