He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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