Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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