So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
