oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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