Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were trust falling into bushes
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
