pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize