His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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