it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
