They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
