I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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