I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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