I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and she was petting her beer can
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
