you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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