I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
