I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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