Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
