This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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