Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
