I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
