Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize
