week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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