did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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