I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How external is "for external use only"?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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