Barsexuality is the new black.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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