dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
