plz talk dirty to me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
