I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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