I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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